By NATE WILLIAMS
Howdy! Welcome to Horsin’ Around. My wife and I are expectin’ and she’s heading into, what I’m sure she feels, is the best part of being pregnant…the third trimester. I’m sure that she would agree that enduring this part of the pregnancy during the heat of the summer is going to be great fun. Well, maybe she wouldn’t agree with me, but someone has to be positive. Anyway, this got me to thinking about a story that my Granddad used to tell me.
There was this feller and his wife that were expecting, and one night the gentleman’s wife woke him up in the middle of the night and informed him that he needed to take her to the hospital. After he got his wits about him he got his bride loaded up in the truck and headed toward town. On the way, disaster struck and they were in a pretty bad car accident while trying to avoid a cow that was standing in the middle of the road.
A couple of weeks later, the husband awoke to find himself in the hospital. His memory started coming back to him and he remembered the cow standing in the middle of the road and swerving off the road and into the tree. His next thought was his pregnant wife and the child that she was giving birth to. He looked around the room looking for his wife, but the only person in the room was his brother. Now, his brother, to put it nicely, wasn’t the hottest iron in the branding fire.
“How ya feeling?” the brother said.
“My head hurts, but where is my wife and how is she? Did she survive the crash?” The husband replied.
“Ah, she’s fine. You have been out for two weeks though.” The brother explained.
“Well how about the baby? Is the baby ok? Did it make it through the crash?” The husband asked panicked.
“Well shoot, you had twins, big brother. A girl and a boy.” The brother proclaimed. “and since you was in one of them comma’s, I mean coma’s, I went ahead and named em’ for ya.”
“That’s great!” the husband said, “What did you name the girl?”
“Deniece.” Said the brother, naturally proud of himself.
“I like that, that’s a good name.” the husband complimented, “What did you name the baby boy.”
“Well that was easy!” the brother exclaimed. “He’s De Nephew.”
Well, I guess the moral of the story is that you should always watch for stray cows while taking your wife to the hospital and never let a relative name your kids.
Thanks for reading along this week. I’m always interested in your thoughts and ideas, you can leave em’ at firstname.lastname@example.org 
And remember folks, never drop your gun to hug a grizzly. Until next time, so long.